This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
