"it" just moved
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
