yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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