I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
