I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
