if i can run in heels then i can drive
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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