Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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