I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
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the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
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i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
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