then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize