Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
