she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Watching her eat just hurts me
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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