People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
