Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
