Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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