so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize