fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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