saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
