Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
