How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
