i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
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