I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize