"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
