all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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