highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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