Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
How's work?
Spinning.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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