yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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