Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I seem to have left my pride at pride
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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