I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
