We're like a lot better than the average bears
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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