She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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