Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
