marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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