there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
