Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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