I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
so much tequila, so little girl.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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