I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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