Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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