drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
