So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
