I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She announced her abortion via fbk
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize
