Barsexuality is the new black.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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