nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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