shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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