I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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