Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
