oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
