There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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