is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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