tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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