hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
