i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
