god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
