I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
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I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
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Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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