Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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