don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
the liver wants what the liver wants
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
