I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize