think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
