Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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