Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
