Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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