lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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