Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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