okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
