not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
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I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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